The Night Visitor

Unbelievably,  a whole  year has  passed since Rhys Cranham gave up the role of Night-Soil Man, in order to marry the love of his life, Philomena Bucket. It was also at this time that the pair took over the running of The Squid and Teapot, following the retirement of  Bartholomew and Ariadne Middlestreet. Much has happened during those twelve months, not least that Rhys and Philomena became the adopted parents of two small children, both of whom arrived on Hopeless under mysterious circumstances. 

“You could be forgiven for thinking that they really are brother and sister, they are so alike,” said a beaming Reggie Upton, watching Caitlin and Oswald playing happily together.

“You could,” conceded Philomena Bucket, “but they don’t speak the same language – although they manage to communicate somehow, so neither seems to care.”

Reggie looked at her quizzically.

“I realised that Caitlin was speaking Old Irish from her first day with us,” went on Philomena. “Sadly, that’s gradually disappearing as her English improves. But as for Oswald, I have no idea where he’s from.”

“The few words that I’ve heard him say sound very faintly Scandinavian,” said Reggie, “but I couldn’t swear to it.”

Philomena nodded.

“Hmm… that. could be,” she agreed, “but the trouble with this island is that it brings in people from any point in the past. You and I know that all too well.”

It was true. Reggie was on the wrong side of sixty, and had been born in the middle of the nineteenth century. Philomena, on the other hand, was just thirty years old, but came into this world in the same year as Reggie’s great-grandmother. 

“It’s dashed confusing,” said Reggie. “What you’re saying is that young Oswald could have been born anytime during the last two thousand years.”

“If not earlier,” said Philomena. 

Oswald, you will remember, was found abandoned on the beach and deposited into the care of the Pallid Rock Orphanage. It took little persuasion for Rhys and Philomena to adopt him, so along with Caitlin, Reggie Upton and the Buddhist monk, Tenzin, young Oswald brought the number of permanent residents living in The Squid and Teapot to a grand total of six. (Note the word ‘living’; this does not include the inn’s two ghosts – Father Ignatius Stamage and Lady Margaret D’Avening – nor, of course, Drury, the skeletal hound). 

This might sound like something of a houseful, but remember, with the exception of the orphanage, The Squid and Teapot is possibly the largest building on the island (unless you count the lighthouse, which has a definite vertical advantage). The inn has a number of guest rooms, which are never fully occupied, plus several attics and a spacious cellar, so there is plenty of room for all. However, despite having this generous space, Philomena decided that Caitlin and Oswald could keep each other company by sharing a bedroom. 

“I don’t know what’s going on,” said a perplexed Philomena, later that day. “When I go in to tidy up the children’s room, Caitlin’s bed is unmade, and her toys and clothes are all over the floor.”

“There’s nothing new in that,” laughed Rhys. “She’s only two, after all.”

“I know,” replied his wife, “but since his very first night with us, Oswald’s side of the room is spotless. His toys are put away, his clothes are neatly folded and his bed is made. I don’t understand it.”

“Maybe he’s just naturally tidy,” said Rhys, doubtfully.

Philomena rolled her eyes.

“I don’t think so. There’s something funny going on here. I’m going to stay in there tonight, and get to the bottom of it.”

“Remind me to fill a hot water bottle for myself,” muttered Rhys, glumly. 

Philomena had been sitting in the corner of the children’s bedroom for hours, determined not to fall asleep. Just when she thought that she would have to give up, and rest her eyes, the door was pushed open and a diminutive figure crept into the room. He was no more than a foot high and sported a red cap and a long grey beard. Philomena watched, astonished, as the little man immediately began to busy himself, tidying up Oswald’s toys and clothing, but steadfastly ignoring Caitlin’s muddles. She was transfixed, hardly daring to breathe, and stayed perfectly still while he completed his work, which took no more than a few minutes.

The following morning, between yawns, she related the incident to Rhys.

“You’ve seen the Tomte,” he said. “You must remember him  – he was the guardian of Sven Blomqvist’s old house, or he was until the Middlestreets moved in.”

“That would explain a lot,” said Philomena. “As I recall our Tomte has some controversial views regarding the people he looks after.”

“Ah, yes,” said Rhys.”He deserted the Middlestreets because they weren’t sufficiently Swedish… which can only mean, I guess, that Oswald must be.”

“So what shall we do about this Tomte fellow?”  asked  Philomena. 

“Now that he’s moved in, we’ll need to make sure that he’s fed regularly,” said Rhys, “or all hell could break loose. As I understand it, a Tomte can be excellent as a friend, but really vindictive if you upset them.”

“We’ll see about that!” exclaimed Philomena. “If we’re lumbered with feeding him, he’s going to have to earn every mouthful, and that includes helping everyone in the house who doesn’t happen to be Swedish. Old Mr Tomte and I are going to have a little talk!”

Author’s note:

The Tomte is a gnome-like creature and considered to be a house guardian in Swedish folklore, asking only for a simple bowl of porridge in return for his labours.

2 thoughts on “The Night Visitor”

  1. Ahhh a simple bowl of porridge as payment, I hope HR does not learn of this as pizza day will be cancelled!

    1. definitely going to have to do something about pizza day, that sounds like a marvellous idea with great potential for terrible things…

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