Here at The Hopeless Vendetta we’ve received a letter of complaint regarding a recent article about Mark Hayes.

We publish it here in full without comment.

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Madam! I feel I must object to the membership of the above-mentioned gentleman within the Hopeless Philosophical Society, as the misdemeanours of which he stands accused are of the most serious nature. Even if acquitted (which I am sure he will be), the failure to eat research orphans in the name of research is an appalling breach of etiquette within the Society and I consider that I have absolutely no option but to register my disapproval in the strongest possible terms. One hopes most strongly that Mr Hayes will see the (alleged) error of his ways, and tuck in to the upcoming Midsummer Mists Feasting with appropriate gusto and enthusiasm – in the presence of suitable witnesses.

Yours,

Prudence Weatherpenny (Professor)

(Letter by Roz White)