Those you who know the tales told at The Squid and Teapot. will be aware of the legend of the little drummer boy. He’s often appeared as a harbinger of death, or perhaps trying to warn islanders away from dangers hidden in the fog. If you hear his drumming, then you should either follow him to safety, or haste away to safety. None of us know which choice is more likely to prove fatal as reports are awkwardly mixed.

If you hear drums at night, we can now report that you might not be hearing the little drummer boy at all. It might possibly be Steven, who is of perfectly average height and could not, even in a bad light, be mistaken for a child. He does however have a drum. According to Steven, he is using the drum to ‘stop them coming out of the trees.’ He has refused to elaborate on this statement.

The best advice this reporter can offer you is to stay away from the woods at night – which you were almost certainly doing anyway. There is a plentiful supply of eldritch horrors in the trees. Whether any of them are inclined to emerge, or are attracted or repelled by drumming has yet to be established.

With thanks to Steven C Davis