Tag Archives: Gurdybird

Hopeless Tales

True tales of the Hel-Boar

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Sometimes Hopeless gives birth to strange entities who do not live on the island. Over to Steven C Davis for a story about a story.

What does a meme from 2019, the talented Gurdybird, a visceral retelling of the Robin Hood tales and Hopeless, Maine have connecting them?

Well.

Hopeless, Maine were putting together a video-event (which aired in Jan 2023 and is still available on Youtube) and were looking for content. Always eager to join their brand of tentacular madness – I mean, creativity – I said I’d contribute something. (Here’s The Hel-boar – https://youtu.be/9vYdDzlaops?si=6diVhkBMKYgxlz_a)

I was gearing up to spend 2023 writing three novels simultaneously (the Hurnungaz trilogy, a mere 250,000 words across all three) and had already started; the idea of taking a character or a scene from the first book and spinning it into a stand-alone tale seemed perfect …

The Hurnungaz trilogy and the spin-off short stories delve into an alternate, dark Pagan, visceral world where Robin is known as Hurnungaz and gods walk the ancient, terrifying forest. A character from the first of the trilogy is Elu of Keadby, daughter of a swan, who needs the help of one of Wōden’s Ravens and the mad stag-godling Caerne to retrieve her cloak … but that’s another story.

This story is about Brother Alberich, a brother of the Christ of the East, a new religion that is sweeping the country, who sees a little part of a ritual and wholly misconstrues what is happening and flees, fearing for his life. Remembering the news and memes about “30 to 50 wild hogs” which had terrorised an American homesteader, I thought a humorous twist would be to play on that and have Caerne unleash a horde of wild boar (hogs) to haunt his footsteps.

And then I looked up from my writing, and there it was (and still is) – a print of Gurdybird’s ‘Fiery Pig Lord’ which suited the piece perfectly. With her permission, that image now graces ‘The Hel-Boar of Kedby’.

You can find the book over here – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DNXW28MR/ref=sr_1_21

Hopeless inhabitants

Pirate legends

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Legend has it that the Jones family of Hopeless, Maine became a founding family by dint of shipwrecking as a pirate crew. They were a Welsh crew, and every last one of them had the surname of Jones.

Welsh pirates were of course a source of great alarm during the peak of piratical activities, and were widely feared for their aggressive use of piano accordions.

It is widely speculated that, given the fearsome reputation of Welsh pirates, many especially fierce pirates were assumed to be Welsh, while any would-be pirates who had so much as been to Wales for a visit often claimed that identity. Infamous pirate captain Gurdybird Jones is said to have hailed from the south west of England. For purposes of Hopeless mythology, that apparently also counts as Wales.

Rather than using accordions to strike fear into the hearts of her victims, Gurdybird favoured the eerie tones of the hurdygurdy and had a reputation for appearing through the mist, ancient dance tunes blazing as she set upon unsuspecting vessels. Many surrendered at once and it was thus rare that any of her crew had to go so far as to set fire to their own beards.

It may well have been that fondness for mist which drew them to their fateful collision with the island. Hopeless has long been shrouded in fog, and not reliably mentioned on maps of the area – people who find it seldom being able to leave again. The sheer weight of gold in the hold of the ship caused it to sink quickly, with a great deal of treasure being lost beneath the waves.

If you have ever caught sight of a sea monster wearing a crown as a bracelet on one of its tentacles, this is probably the cause.

The Jones pirates settled on the island and thrived here, no doubt assisted by their fondness for mist and their willingness to make alcohol out of absolutely anything.

You can find Gurdybird over here – GurdyBird