Tag Archives: David Feasey

David Feasey’s Bestiary

David Feasey has spotted a three new island creatures, and one we are pretty sure we’ve seen before. Experts from the Hopeless, Maine Scientific Society suspect that the leaf crawler might in fact be a gutter creature, although arguments continue about whether there really is a head at each end, or whether David might have observed a pair of them engaged in some kind of unconventional mating activity.

We are reliably informed that the Benistanto Batiliot is delicious, if somewhat chewy.

Do not bury David Feasey

If you chance upon David Feasey and believe him to be dead, please do not bury him. While our unburialist, Gregory O’Regan has thus far managed to dig David up on every occasion of mistaken interment, it would be much less stressful for all concerned if we could avoid that henceforth.

This includes situations in which Doc Willoughby has declared David to be deceased, because he’s already got that wrong on three separate occasions. It was fortunate that Gregory was on hand to unbury David each time.

Generally speaking, it does not seem to be a good idea to bury people simply because Doc Willoughby has declared them dead. The most recent occasion when David was mistakenly buried he had been pushing his latest device down the street and was entirely in motion at the time. Doc Willoughby shouting, “You’re dead, damn you man will you not stay buried,” is believed to be the prompt that caused several well meaning but uninformed citizens to carry David off to the nearest cemetery. 

We can’t currently explain David’s condition, as at times he does become very still and assume an eerily corpse-like pose. The diagnosis of ‘definitely dead’ clearly isn’t right and with our only medical expert so dreadfully wrong, it’s hard to know what to think. Possession seems like a distinct possibility, as does some kind of ailment currently unknown to science. Given how many things remain unknown to science here, this seems like a realistic explanation, although one that offers us very little by way of utility.

(David Feasey participated in a recent Hopeless, Maine event at Stroud Steampunk weekend and very kindly offered to be an islander.)