Sometimes, we take Hopeless Maine out for live performance as a radio show. This being the most obvious and logical solution to putting a graphic novel onto a stage, clearly…

The genius behind the radio play approach is Keith Errington, aka Rostov, aka The Keith of Mystery. For these purposes he has written, and repeatedly performed this entirely wonderful piece. if you’ve ever encountered the Prairie Home Companion you may spot the similarities, but the weirdness works very well even for the uninitiated…

The Sons of Gnii

It is my great honour to stand before you now in the ancient and traditional outfit of the Grand Spoon of the Sons of Gnii, Lodge number one, circle number three, Hopeless, Maine.

I wear the ancient costume including the garland of night potatoes, representing honest toil (and protection against vampires of course), the glass helmet – I’m carrying it or you wouldn’t hear me. Well I say helmet, it’s actually a goldfish bowl, but it represents the unique wildlife of the island and by implication relentless aggression.

I’m holding the ladle of hope – a large serving spoon on a ceremonial broomstick. Wait a minute, where’s the spoon? It was here just now. Damn it. That’s the fifth one this month. Well, just imagine the spoon.

I have the cape which represents the fog of the island and is woven from the skins of over a thousand Kniris. No-one has ever seen a Kniri, but then, it is rather hard to survive as a species when everyone keeps making capes from your skin.

The Sons of Gnii have some simple sayings as part of the brotherhood:

• The Gnii are sacred.
• The benefits of the Lodge are many – but they are not for you.
• No, damn it, we are not the Masons.
• Stay away from the mines.
• What did he think was going to happen?
• Don’t mess with the helmet.

But possibly the most significant, important and symbolic – a saying that sums up the Sons of Gnii:

• If we don’t stick together, we will die.
• If we do stick together, we will die.
• We are all, going to die.

You can find Keith’s excellent Hopeless Maine novel over here – https://hopeless-maine.backerkit.com/hosted_preorders