(Frampton Jones)
Last night’s storm brought a strange arrival to our shores. It was discovered by Hermitage Trott while he was harvesting seaweed yesterday. Assorted learned citizens went down to the beach in order to view the new arrival. No consensus has been reached as to its nature, but so far it has done nothing to suggest it is actively dangerous. However, given the size of pincers, and the speed at which it can move, the curious are advised to view it from a distance.
Despite the glowing eyes, Reverend Davies does not believe that it is inherently Satanic. I watched Jack Ephemery from The Crow make several attempts to capture the new arrival – no doubt with a view to cooking it. The creature resisted, scuttling off at surprising speed whilst making some unearthly noises.
While opinions are divided, my own theory is that this may in fact be a giant brother to the hermit crab, but the shell it has borrowed is unlike anything I have ever seen before. It has an almost metallic sheen, but it is hard to imagine how such a thing could have formed. Balthazar Lemon postulated that someone had made it, but no one who has viewed the shell can imagine any possible use for it. “People don’t always make things to be useful,” Lemon pointed out, and he should know!
Not commenting as a character in any way here – this is hilarious!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH. No idea what a saxophone is, eh? Yes, I imagine one would look quite peculiar to someone who had never seen a wood-wind instrument of that type …. but out of curiosity, what types of musical instruments are the good people of Hopeless aware of, other than the piano-forte and organ?
A saxophone you say? Given the context I infer that you mean a musical device of some sort? I am personally familiar with violins, thanks to the excellent playing of Elgar Frog. My cousin Selsley Jones has a Euphonium, which cannot be described as tuneful. Two years ago a banjo was washed ashore, which Reverend Davies carefully burned, knowing it to be an instrument of the devil. My mother was a very capable spoons player, as it happens.
Ah, yes, a saxophone is a musical instrument, meant to be played through a reed, which is inserted in the smaller end. The various buttons are pushed to create different notes. It is a lovely sounding thing if one knows how to play it. A euphonium, eh? They can be rather blatty if one doesn’t know how to play them – I knew trumpet and French horn, and did fiddle around with a baritone saxophone some in my time, as well as play the piano. I have to tell you, seeing a crab make a home in a saxophone just made my day! I have no idea how I have managed to see your newspaper, not being an inhabitant of your isle, but … maybe I can provide a thin link to the outside realm once in awhile.
It is almost certainly an igneous formation — the result of ordinary geological processes. A vein of molten metal must have filled the inside of a small lava tube. After the outer layer of metal solidified, the inner portion must have drained away, leaving this curved tube-like formation to emerge after erosion had removed the surrounding covering of rock. The unusual texture of the outer surface may give the appearance of being man-made, but this is typical of igneous formations.
It et my dog.
That’s quite a crab … how big was your dog, Boris!!
That sounds altogether probable sir! Thank you for your insight and erudition.