Tag Archives: volunteers

Dominic Wolfgang Wallace has been volunteered

This year, the volunteering committee has decided that henceforth, lots should be drawn publicly rather than the usual, private procedure favoured in previous years. This comes after a mistake that resulted in Dominic Wolfgang Wallace being unable to carry out his volunteer duties at the last full moon.

This may have been a genuine error, but somehow Dominic’s lot was drawn for three separate extremely hazardous volunteering jobs, and his attendance of the underwater breathing apparatus test meeting got in the way of his being able to go on vampire patrol, and also left him bereft of an opportunity to attend a recent cliff-top cultist meeting.

Obviously no enterprising young islander would want to have their options so sorely limited. Who knows how long it might be before the cultists next seek a ‘volunteer’?

So, rather than having to wait for that knock at the door, or the letter of summons, we’re all going to meet on the village green every Friday to draw lots in public. Some of you may be surprised to learn that we even have a village green. Apparently it used to be so foggy that you could hardly see it, but it is quite visible in the swirling mist that now fills it.

Meanwhile, Dominic has been volunteered to make sure everyone knows about the change to the system.

(Wolfgang was volunteered for this post by Jennifer Lewis-Auger)