We, the Bauched of Hopeless Maine have written this document to assert our values and intentions. Our purpose is one of virtue, embracing restraint, stoicism, self denial, sobriety, modesty and good manners.

We assert that modesty in clothing is essential to the good functioning of society. Clothing should at all times properly reflect the body parts you have under your clothing while not drawing any attention to them. We must simultaneously centre that which is unspeakable while also never commenting on it.

We will be sober at all times. We will not be drunk with wine, or with poetry. We will not allow ourselves to become overly excited about acts of restraint and self denial. We will not go so far in mortifying the flesh as to allow deviance to enter in. There will be no hair shirts, no excessively tight corsetry and we do not encourage the use of chastity belts in case those lead to indecent thoughts.

We think it is important to practice restraint in all aspects of life. Restraint itself must also be restrained. Punishment also must be retrained for those who fall short of our ideals. There shall be no whipping, for example, no enthusiastic use of stick or slipper in cases of failure to be sufficiently bauched. It might be appropriate in times when self control is poor to consider strapping the afflicted person to a sturdy chair for an hour or two while the ill humours in the body are allowed to subside naturally.

We will take cold baths regularly, for cleanliness is conducive to the pure and modest life. We will not use ice in these baths for that could prove stimulating and we dedicate ourselves to avoiding the excessive stimulation of the nerves. When we bathe, we will not look at our own bodies, and we will undertake to touch ourselves as little as possible while performing the duties of ablution.

We will not beget children, for children are an abomination and the making of them is an obscenity. 

We will take brisk walks. We will not look too closely at the flowers, for flowers lack for restraint and allow all comers to take their nectar and pollen. We will not spend time in the company of fish, for fish do not respect gender binaries. We will stay away from the beaches to avoid the lascivious behaviour of mermaids and jellyfish women. We will close our eyes while washing our own undergarments so as to avoid improper thoughts. We will not have improper thoughts while reading our own manifesto.

We will at all times stay calm, and virtuous, avoiding all inflammation of the thoughts and subduing the senses to the best of our ability. We commit ourselves to tempered rationality and restraint. We promise to restrain each other when necessary and to support each other in finding the disciplines that will keep us bauched in all things.