(Image by Dr Abbey, text by Nimue)
Demons love warmer weather and are always more active at this time of year. Here is some advice for dealing with any demons you encounter.
- Try not to. This almost never goes well.
- Do not believe what the demons tell you. Especially don’t believe them if they tell you it won’t hurt at all, or that you will have fun.
- It will hurt. It will not be fun.
- Do not feed the demons. This is harder when they pretend to be cats.
- Do not give demons your blood, even if they ask nicely. Do not give cats your blood either. Not all cats are demons but it is better not to take any risks on this score.
- If you find a sunbathing cat, consider that it could be a demon and proceed cautiously.
- If you chance upon a sunbathing demon/cat, and think of something funny you could do, don’t do it. It will hurt, it will not be fun.
- Demons never possess you for just a little while. Let them in and you’ll have a hard time getting them out again. Sitting on you is not exactly possession but can lead to possession.
- It is as well to be polite and considerate to cats in case they are really demons.
- Do not give the demons pets or attempt to fuzz them under the chin. Do not ask the demons if they are adorable floof beans and the bestest little cattypus ever. This also doesn’t tend to go well.