There aren’t many people Mrs Beaten actively approves of, but Lawrence Wilson is most assuredly one of them. Such collars! The immaculate state of his cuffs sets him apart from all others. 

Frampton Jones of course also has infamously good collars, but the printing press is unkind to cuffs and sometimes there are faint and inky stains on his wrists. 

Pristine whiteness is not an easy thing to achieve, especially not in the damp, mould breeding environment of Hopeless, Maine. Yes, you can make very effective lye soaps from a mix of ashes and animal fats, but the whole process is so filthy that some people question whether it’s worth getting into that state in the hopes of getting cleaner later.

Residents who used to live elsewhere may remember how it was possible to sun bleach your white cottons and linens. While islanders do occasionally get to see the sun, it is seldom around for long enough or with enough intensity to do anything for a person’s shirts.

Of course there is speculation. Might Lawrence have entered into some infernal pact, trading his soul for his laundry? It’s amazing what people will consider when they are bored enough. Might he be possessed of some uncanny power? Can he summon the sun at will? Or drive dirt from his vestments using the power of his mind? Is it some kind of witchcraft? Although this point is often refuted because witches on the island do not have a reputation for excessive cleanliness and have always tended to wear dark colours that hide the stains

The truth has everything to do with using night potatoes for starching collars. Most sensible people would take out the eyes, as those just look troubling and unsuitable. However, if you only use the eyes, and you don’t mind the smell, and you can cope with the howling and never quite shaking off the feeling that the night potatoes are watching your every move, then this does indeed result in a very presentable shirt.