Edward always used to say that he was quite a normal chap before he came to the island. He had no supernatural powers worth mentioning. What it was about the island that changed him, we may never know. Edward became curiously attractive to small pieces of metal. In the few years he lived here, it was a mostly funny, sometimes annoying trait that he learned to live with. In the end, it killed him.

Jed Grimes’ biggest ever nail sale happened this week. It was, it is true, the biggest sale of nails he has ever undertaken. There were so many nails, that many of them were on display outside the shop, in boxes.

The rest, it may be as well not to dwell upon. I am told that it all happened fairly quickly and that the speed at which Edward could draw metal to him had increased quite dramatically.

Jed Grimes told me, “It’s a tragic waste of nails. We’ll have to bury him like he is, and then I’ll have to dig him back up in a year or so to get the nails back. It’s a lot of work, and nails are important. No one ever has enough nails. And I’d only just got those nails back from last time.”

Which leads to the question – is being attractive to metal something inherent in the person, the island, or the metal objects themselves? Anyone finding they have become attractive is advised to keep well away from Jed Grimes’ store.

Edward’s funeral will be held on Monday next, the matter of a coffin having become problematic due to the sudden shortage of available nails.